FON: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by Lulu-ichigo
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the owner of a FON unit! In order to maximize the functions of this Hibari-looking arcobaleno, it is recommended that you read the following manual carefully.


**A/N:**Uwaah! It's been so long since I've last written a manual. XD sorry guys, got hit by the lazy disease again. T.T anyway, here's Fon. Enjoy~

Disclaimer: don't own the format (belongs to Theresa Green), don't own the anime.

XXX

**FON: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS!** You are now the owner of a FON unit! In order to maximize the functions of this Hibari-looking arcobaleno, it is recommended that you read the following manual carefully.

**Technical Specifications**

**Name:** Fon (does respond to other names such as Master, Fon-san, Fon-sama, Fong. Does not respond to names like smiling Hibari and such. )

**Age:** _unknown_

**Place of Manufacture**: China

**Height:** 40 cm

**Weight:** 3.7 kg

**Length:** imagine Hibari's and here's a tissue for that nose bleed.

**Your FON unit comes with the following accessories:**

One _bald uakari _™unit

Seven red Chinese long sleeves

Seven black pants

A set of clothes for disguise

A pair of shoes

A gyoza stand

Seven trucks of gyoza

One red pacifier

**Removing your FON unit from his box**

Removal of the FON unit is as easy as eating gyoza. You can go ahead and open it and let him go out by himself, or you can take him out of his box directly. Be gentle, because if you do it by force, he might attack you in defense. Once he gets out, expect a polite bow and a smile.

**Programming**

After you successfully take out your FON unit, you will notice that it comes with a variety of amazing features:

**Hitman:**this unit does not prefer violence, but if you black mail him and get away with it, the FON unit will surely do a great assassination job. Just one twist of the neck here and you can say bye-bye to that enemy of yours.

**Martial Arts Trainer:** do you want to know how I-pin does those moves of hers? Fret no more! The FON unit will take you under his wing and teach you all he knows so you don't have to worry about those bullies in school or you can win that tournament you've been failing to win for the past ten years.

**Bun expert: **this unit knows his buns, believe me. The statement earlier may sound weird, but it's true. Have plans to go bun exploring? Tag this unit along and let him guide you to bun paradise.

**Tour guide in China:** don't know where to go next while visiting the home of the Great Wall? Fret no more! The FON unit will surely give you the best spots to visit. And he won't even charge you a cent!

**Your FON unit will come in the following modes:**

_Calm and cool (default)_

_Fearless and violent (locked)_

_Hibari? (locked)_

The _Calm and Cool _mode is in default as it spells what this unit is. In this mode, he's expected to do what he normally does: smile like there's no tomorrow.

The _Fearless and Violent _mode is activated when the FON unit is faced with uncertain danger… or he just really, really wants his Mapo Tofu (see **Feeding** for details.) and you keep refusing to feed him that. Good luck and may Buddha bless you.

_Hibari? _mode has been created due to the fan's requests. This mode can be unlocked by doing the conditions on how to unlock the _Fearless and violent _mode. You've got to do this at the same time. I really don't know how because when our staff tried, they have been silenced. Eternally.

**Relationships with other units****:**

**I-pin: **this egg head unit is the FON unit's apprentice so expect some respect shown between the two.

**The arcobaleno series:** as the storm pacifier holder, this unit treats every arcobaleno with respect, especially the LUCEunit. After all, she's their boss. And you're just dumb if you don't fear the wrath of a very very pregnant Mafia boss.

**Cleaning**

This unit prefers a relaxing bath. You know, those traditional Japanese baths. He doesn't require help in cleaning unfortunately... Boo hoo.

**Feeding**

The FON unit needs the normal diet of a grown man. Oolong Tea is a staple drink and lots of veggies are also needed. **WARNING**: no matter how he begs (or smiles his way to convince you,) do NOT feed him his favourite food, **Mapo** **Tofu**. It'll choke the living daylights out of him. Mapo tofu is very spicy. You don't want a swollen-mouthed arcobaleno at your disposal.

**Rest**

Ample sleep is needed for this unit. Make sure he sleeps about six to eight hours a day.

**Frequently asked questions**

**Q: **my unit sometimes just stares outside and day dreams all day. Is there something wrong with him?

**A:** nope, he's perfectly fine. That's just what he likes to do.

**Q:**I ordered a FON unit but instead I got a HIBARI unit in a red Chinese outfit.

**A:** Congratulations! You just got the _Adult FON_™ unit! This limited edition collector's unit comes with a variety of other modes other than what we specified here so please, help yourself. We are not liable for any blood loss and other things I cannot specify for our young readers. If you insist on having your original order, please call our Customer Service and we'll be glad to swap.

**Q:** my unit suddenly started saying 'kamikorosu'! But he's so cute! And he has a hibird on his head now too! But he's so bossy and he hits me every time I try to glomp him…What should I do?

**A:**for starters, stop glomping him. He'll never let you glomp him anyway, so stop dreaming. It appears that you activated his _Hibari? _mode. So don't expect him to show some decent affection toward you.

**Troubleshooting**

**Problem:**I have unlocked the _Fearless and violent _mode of my unit.

**Solution:** Well, poor soul… I suggest you let him eat his favourite food. It cannot be helped. No one can stop him. Others tried and died. So if you do not like my rhyme, prepare yourself that red dish and a handful of drugs for mouth burns.

**Problem:** I gave in to his pleas and let him eat Mapo Tofu…

**Solution:**** ***sigh*** **We have warned you.

**End notes**

Under the _Arcobaleno_™ series, the FON unit will surely give you a lot of smiles (oh yes he will) and most likely, you'll become a smiling idiot too. Nevertheless, you'll definitely enjoy the time you spend with him. With proper care, life with this unit will surely be worth while.

XXX

A/N: okay. I told you guys that Verde was next but… I lost inspiration to write a manual for him… XD Sorry. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this manual. Stay tuned for the rest! Thank you for reading and please leave me some reviews!


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